I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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