But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We're too hungover to prance.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
