so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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