I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize