Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Boobs speak an international language.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
