my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
