Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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