You're a womanizer and a bitch.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
