Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
