Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
