I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
