Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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