Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize