You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
