At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
