my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
