I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
