If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
