Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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