smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
