accomplished twins. life is a go
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
