So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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