what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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