That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
