Whod you bang
Too much gin, very little bucket
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
