theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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