we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
