my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize