like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
