It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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