It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
