If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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