YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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