is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
