my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
