If i come over, it means nothing
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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