Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
worst night to have a conscience
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
