im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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