those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
