It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
