so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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