Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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