11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
White coat. Heels.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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