So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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