i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm bleeding and have questions
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
