my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
