Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize