That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just invented taco cereal.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
