Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
