hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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