Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
