At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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