hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
