just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
