Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
