This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
