This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
