I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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