There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
