am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
