38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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