He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize